“Life is like a camera. Just focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t turn out – take another shot.”
So you’ve done the New Year’s resolutions thing and set goals for yourself before (at least in your mind 🙂 ). And maybe you’ve even achieved some of them. But for some reason, your biggest dreams just haven’t come true, at least not yet.
What if I told you there is a better feeling way to set goals, pursue your dreams, and ensure this is your best year yet?
Why don’t people get what they want?
In my coaching, training, and 15 years of research, I have discovered three main reasons why people don’t get what they want:
- They aren’t clear about what they want.
- They don’t believe they can have it/aren’t patient in waiting for it.
- They don’t consistently take action to achieve it.
If you could have anything you wanted in your life, what would that look like? What would it feel like? Taste and smell like? If you can answer these questions with clarity, you’re a good chunk of the way towards getting what you want. If can’t, circumstances or other people will decide the course of your life for you.
Meanwhile, do you trust and believe you can have what you want and create the life of your dreams? If you do and you maintain your focus and positivity consistently, what you want will come to you eventually, when it is meant to. If you don’t, then you have some work to do on your belief system.
Lastly, are you taking regular, consistent action to make your dreams come true? Are you acting on what you want, and on the opportunities the Universe is putting before you? If you are, your dreams will manifest in due time. If you aren’t, what’s stopping you?
But I have bad luck…
You may have experienced challenging circumstances. You may even have experienced more challenges than most people. But your circumstances don’t define who you are, what you can have, and what you can do…you do. You are far more powerful than you realize.
When I think of the people I admire most, they have all had very difficult circumstances to overcome. Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, Neale Donald Walsch, Wayne Dyer, Jack Canfield…every one of these now famous and rich people had to overcome the initial “bad luck” they had…everything from a severely abusive childhood to extreme poverty to a broken neck.
And they each now say that those difficult experiences are part of what has made them so successful today.
You can also rise above your circumstances, see the blessings that have come from them, and create the life you really want. A life that gets you excited to get out of bed in the morning!
One thing is for sure: this time next year, you’ll have had 365 days to do something with your life, just like the rest of us. The question is…how well will you use those days?
Getting what you want out of life
Several years ago, I had more than my share of challenges. I had two young children whom I loved, but struggled to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. I lacked confidence after several years out of the workforce with no income. I was not happy in my marriage. And I had lost touch with who I was and what I enjoyed in life.
Then in October 2009, a friend gave me a birthday card that read, “Make this your best year ever!” I got chills down my arms, and decided in that moment that I would do exactly that. It’s amazing how one simple decision can create so much of an impact!
A year later, I had peacefully ended my marriage, bought a beautiful new home for myself and my kids, and was excelling at my new writing consulting business. I also had a new network of wonderful friends and was having more fun than I’d had in years. All because of one tiny…but momentous…decision.
So how about you…are you ready to make 2017 your most awesome year ever?
Why don’t people stick to their goals?
“Momentum that has resistance in it causes you to try too hard.”
– Abraham Hicks
Deciding to have a great year is a terrific start. But creating goals that feel good and that you’ll actually follow through on is even better. I mean, wouldn’t it be great to actually enjoy taking action on your goals?
Many people create goals but don’t stick to them. Why is that? It’s because they try to force themselves to do something that doesn’t feel good, that feels like work. And if it doesn’t feel good, the motivation to continue just isn’t there.
Why doesn’t it feel good? Because they:
- do what they think they should do, instead of what they really want to do
- focus on the “when and how,” instead of the “what and why”
- have a limiting belief that they can’t have what they really want
- haven’t lined up their energy with the vibration of what they want
- aren’t stopping to appreciate how much they have already accomplished
“The world makes way for those who know where they are going.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Setting goals helps you focus your energy and resources on what you want, so that you live your life by choice, not by chance. But a lot of traditional goal setting gets people to focus on the wrong things.
I have been setting goals for myself for many, many years. I think I was born with a pen and notebook in my hand, writing down my aspirations and “to do” lists. (I guess you could say I am a bit of an over-achiever.) And I have had reasonable success setting what you may know as “S.M.A.R.T.” goals (specific, measurable, action-oriented, realistic, and time-bound).
But I found that by being so precise in my goal setting (and arbitrary in my deadlines), I got discouraged whenever I missed meeting a goal in the exact time or way I thought I should, and I discounted any progress I had made. I missed opportunities that weren’t part of my rigid plan, and stressed too much about “how” to make things happen instead of enjoying the process.
In the past few years, I have been using energetic goal setting (or goal setting on steroids, as I like to call it). And my life has been moving forward at a dizzying pace as I attract what I want much, much faster.
I have published a book, launched a coaching and speaking business, hosted a phenomenal women’s retreat, and created an online course. I have attracted many wonderful new friends into my life, and an amazing new partner. I have had tons of fun with my kids, traveled to several gorgeous destinations, and made quality time for myself. I even paid off my car two years early!
The key thing I have learned is that it’s the feeling you have when you create the goal that really counts. So I created a new acronym to represent this new “energetic” method of goal setting (who doesn’t love acronyms?!). I call them “G.R.E.A.T.” goals:
- G – give thanks for what you already have
- R – review your challenges
- E – e-magine what you really want
- A – act (in an inspired way)
- T – trust in yourself and the Universe
Click on each link to look at each of these steps more closely.
And please join me for my free webinar on December 29, where I will help you create your most awesome year ever!
Wishing you all the best in 2017!!
Karen Strang Allen is an empowerment coach for single women and mother of two. She is also the author of Free to be me: Create a life you love from the inside out! and international bestselling co-author of Unwavering Strength Volume 2. Widowed at 22 and separated at 35, Karen’s mission is to help single women feel great about themselves, turn their heartbreak into the best thing that ever happened to them, and create a life they love, so they become a magnet for their dream partner. Learn more about Karen and check out her free empowering resources at www.karenstrangallen.com.