Posted by: silverliningsblog | March 31, 2020

Finding your balance in uncertain times

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Wow, a lot sure can change in a month…

A month ago, my yard was buried in snow. I had just started dating again and attended a speed dating event at a restaurant. I was preparing to host my next live workshop in my home. I went to a movie with friends. I was doing yoga at my gym. I was seeing my chiropractor and going for physio regularly. I was packing for a trip to California.

Now, the snow is gone. My trip is cancelled. And the World Health Organization has declared a global pandemic due to the Coronavirus.

The streets are empty. Airports are eerily quiet. Everyone is “sheltering in place” and “socially isolating.” Gyms, theatres and restaurants are closed. So are libraries, parks and other public services. Schools are closed and kids are at home. Many people are working from home. Some people are out of work. And still others, deemed “essential,” risk their lives to provide food, supplies and healthcare for the rest of us.

These are strange times…unprecedented really. It’s little wonder we’re feeling off-kilter.

So how do we make any sense of what is happening? And what can we do to feel better?

Begin where you are

When major change happens, it’s important to notice how we’re feeling. That requires tuning into our bodies to see what they’re telling us.

Stop what you’re doing for a moment. Sit down and breathe. Notice any physical sensations in your body. Place your hand on your heart, and ask yourself how you’re feeling. Notice and acknowledge what comes up, without judging, resisting or trying to change it.

You may be feeling a mix of things:

  • fear about you or loved ones getting sick (or dying)
  • panic over losing income
  • sadness about losing access to people and things you love
  • overwhelm at trying to work while homeschooling kids
  • loneliness from living alone or missing loved ones
  • anxiety about what to do in what order
  • uncertainty about when this will all end

It’s important to acknowledge and validate your real feelings, instead of bottling them up and putting on a happy face for the sake of being “positive.” These feelings are completely normal given what is happening around you! So remind yourself that your feelings make sense.

Your feelings aren’t the problem, even if they are “negative.” Problems only arise when we:

  • ignore our feelings (and they explode out of us later)
  • react to our feelings (instead of processing them and choosing what to do)
  • identify with our feelings (and forget our strengths and ability to adapt)

Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Emotions will pass through us if we let them.

If this is an area you struggle with, I encourage you to check out this post on processing your emotions.

Re-center and re-focus

Once you’ve checked in with your body and acknowledged your feelings, it’s time to re-center and re-focus so that we can calm our nervous system, regain equilibrium and feel better.

To re-center, follow these steps:

  1. Slow your breathing – Take a quick breath in, then a long, slow, breath out. Repeat for at least one minute, until you feel your nervous system begin to calm down.

  2. Ground yourself – Place your feet firmly on the floor (the earth is even better), and pretend you have roots growing out of your feet and into the earth, stabilizing you.

  3. Notice your surroundings – Notice the environment you’re in. First, focus on the sights…observe each item fully, as if it’s the first time you’re seeing it. Notice the colour, texture, shape. Next, focus on the sounds…notice the ones really close to you, then further away, then as far away as you can hear. By focusing on your immediate surroundings, you are re-focusing on the present moment.

  4. Remind yourself you’re safe – Anxiety is future-based…it’s caused by imagining worst-case scenarios instead of what’s right in front of us. Remind yourself that you’re alive, you’re healthy, you’re safe. And that’s enough for right now.

  5. Focus on what is good – Think about what is still good in your life…the people, freedoms, things you still have, the activities you can still enjoy. Make a list, as big as you can. This will help your brain shift out of negativity and into a more positive focus.

For more help with re-centering and re-focusing, check out this post on What to do when life gets you down.

Elevate your perspective

Once you’ve calmed your nervous system and are feeling more centered, it’s time to connect with your higher self (your spirit) and elevate your perspective…from one of powerlessness, to one of resourcefulness and empowerment.

Follow these steps:

  1. Connect with spirit – Close your eyes and connect with your higher spirit, that part of you that is infinite, limitless, and connected to source energy.

  2. Leave your problems behind – Imagine that your spirit is floating up into the sky, away from your problems, to a place that is free, easy and limitless.

  3. Call on your strengths – As you rise above the clouds, remember a time when you overcame a challenge…what strengths did you draw upon? Can you use those strengths again now?

  4. Ask for guidance – Ask your spirit/higher self what advice it has for you now…what is the higher truth about this situation? What is a more empowering perspective about what’s really going on?

  5. Take inspired action – Notice what it is you’re really wanting right now. Ask your higher self what action(s) you can take now to make things better…both for you and for others. Commit to what you think you can do in the next week. Return back to your body.

If you need more help elevating your perspective, check out this post: Unwanted changes: How to let go and move forward.

Take it one step at a time…

Too many people (myself included) try to jump to the positive before they’ve connected with their feelings, calmed their nervous system and re-focused their attention. Be sure you follow the previous steps before trying to “be positive,” otherwise you’ll find yourself sliding back the moment you feel stressed. Truly feeling positive is a process…so give yourself the time you need, and take it one step at a time! 😊

You’ve got this. I have faith in you. You’ve gotten through difficult times before. And you will again. Trust in your ability to figure things out. Trust in the Universe to provide. Trust others to help if you reach out. And trust that, even if things are a little bumpy right now, good things WILL come from this period.

Everything is working out the way it’s meant to…and you will be ok. Just remember to reach out for help if you need it!

Resources

For more information on getting through difficult times:

If you’re looking for a greater sense of connection to other single women during this time, I invite you to join our global community for Empowered Single Women (women only please).

Share your thoughts

How are you doing in this challenging time? What has helped you feel better?

About the author

Karen Strang Allen is a love and empowerment coach for single women. She is the author of Free to be me: Create a life you love from the inside out! and international bestselling co-author of Unwavering Strength Volume 2. Widowed at 22 and separated at 35, Karen’s mission is to help single women feel great about who they are and create a life they love so they attract their dream partner. Learn more about Karen and check out her free empowering resources and workshops at www.karenstrangallen.com.


Responses

  1. Amazing insight Karen. Thanks for reminding us that we are allowed to feel our emotions during this challenging time. xo

  2. […] Finding your balance in uncertain times […]


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